Last Day as a 28-Year Old

I turned a year older more than a month ago. There was no noise, nothing really spectacular to mark that day. The day before that, I sat on the sofa,  I held my camera in my hands, feeling the familiar contours, the rough texture of the rubber grip that peels off from time to time if not for the strategically-placed green elastic band I used to tie my hair with. I missed taking pictures. I was turning a year older and there were so few pictures to show for it, nothing really to remember the past year by. The major milestones were recorded, I hope, but not the daily things, the little stuff, the ones I used  to enjoy  taking, not because I wanted to share them, but just because they showed what I saw, with my eyes, in that particular moment. Taking pictures is a snap (pardon the pun) but the easier it gets, the harder it is to do it regularly because I fall into the trap of thinking I can do it anytime I want. This is regretful, since not being able to snap away makes it harder to remember. 

Sometimes, not being able to remember the colors, the textures, even the smells of the day, somehow diminishes the memory, especially if you are trying to remember the day that just finished. It is disturbing, the fast turning of one day to the next as if you are not given a moment to catch your breath. I used to have so many moments to just sit and take as many deep and satisfied breaths as I can. Now, moments like that are becoming increasingly rare. I spent the remaining hours of my last day as a 28-year-old taking photos of what I saw on the street. Photos of people, my feet, flowers, our vegetable garden by the road. It was reassuring, feeling the transition from getting to know the controls again, to falling into that comfortable familiarity of just snapping away. 

The photos are few, but I promised myself I would post this so I can have something to remember that last day by. At least when I look back, the last day of being 28 won't be just a blur of colors, but rather pictures that link to other memories that I failed to capture during that day. 

coffee and a sugary snack
my birthday falls on exam week, so thoughts of celebration are always put on the backburner, at least temporarily
Bammy on my bed
Going out in the afternoon. I almost forgot that this was one rainy day
 the Bell Tower
trying to get sharp shots with the Zuiko OM is always hard, but I love how un-digital the pictures look (at least to me) 



2 comments:

Kat said...

Gosh. wait till you become 29! It gets more emotional. haha. I understand what you mean. Do you also get that feeling that when it's your birthday, and everything around you is plain and ordinary, your senses try to feel as if they're special. Like the air you breathe. I remember thinking, "I'm so lucky to be breathing until today." Not just the air, but the trees, birds chirping, smell of food cooking.

Anyway, I haven't been out since our last shoot. I think aside from having no time, things can get so uninspiring aside from having less free time to go out and shoot them.

joselle said...

Oh lemme tell you Kat, I did get emotional! I turned 29 a month ago, and although nothing really changed, I think that fact made things a little bit depressing haha! I guess this is normal, feeling blah when you realize everything's not what you hoped they would be when you reach this age...

Yeah, being busy with other things takes the sparkle out of my afternoons too. I miss the sembreak all of a sudden. My classes are held in the afternoons, so I miss a lot of nice golden afternoons :/

 

Instagram with Me