A Look Back Before I Step Forward

It's that time of the year when you look back and try to see where you've been, what you've done, how life and living has left its mark on you. I started the year with too much optimism, with all the hopes I could muster, for love, life, friendships and people. Sadly, things do not always turn out so good, not always the way you pictured it at the height of all the hoping. Things break down, dogs die, people go away, people disappoint, you disappoint even yourself. Still, that has not stopped me from taking a breather every once in a while.

I have a lot to be thankful for as the year ends. I met new people, was given valuable advice, given encouragement in the things that I was passionate about, was given a dog, learned the value of responsibility (the hardest way possible), fell in love for the first time, got my heart dashed to pieces (not just broken!) for the first time, saw how I coped with a broken heart, saw how I could rise from the ashes and learned that I was strong enough to do it over and over again. When it comes to more mundane things, I saw the opening of Dumaguete's first mall and was able to devote more than a cursory glance at my blog... indeed, we can do a lot of stuff in a year. My highlights:

1.) I fell in love. For real. Do not get me wrong. I was blessed with a previous relationship that was also full of love, but I guess different relationships leave different marks. This was the kind of love that made me feel like I could relate to all the mushy love songs played over and over on the radio. It was the first time that I could say that I had a boyfriend and meant it, that I, ever the lone ranger, was one-half of a couple. It felt warm and nice. And then it ended. All good things must come to an end, yeah? It might also be worth noting that this was also the first time that I allowed myself to be stupid. So the words love and stupidity will forever be linked in my mind.

2.) Got my heart broken. For real. :(

'Nuff said.

photo from http://superlative1.wordpress.com

3.) Was given a dog! Pinky was a adorable. The ex had her given to me Christmas 2008, and she was the feistiest little buddle of love that I had ever met. Though small, it was apparent that she thought of herself as a fierce German shepherd or some other breed of large dog. She often sent Obama, my other dog, running for cover.

Sad to say, I am a certified animal lover, but mommy I am not. Pinky died of Parvo and I know it was all my fault.


Rest in peace, sweet Pinky

4.) Painted more.


6.)dug my heels in fine Boracay sand for the first time





5.)joined my first photoshoot

My first ever photoshoot with some of Dumaguete's finest photographers and one the most beautiful models around

BoldAesha Villanueva
7.) got on a plane for the first time

I know, its pathetic that I got on my first plane ride at 25, but I'm thankful it wasn't later. It was also the first time that I got to see el capital in all its overcrowded, polluted, yet vibrant and energetic glory. No pics, unfortunately. We all know what Manila looks like anyway :D

8.)got my passport

Took some time, but I finally got it. Processing for a passport wasn't all that bad.



9.) grew a year older

Happy birthday to me. It's when you get past the 25th mark that birthdays suddenly become dreaded days in the calendar. I am trying to unlearn this. Being thankful for another year gone and all the years to come is a better alternative than cowering in the corner, hoping that this will keep the wrinkles at bay. THEY WILL COME. Why waste time worrying about it?

10.) Accepted the fact that the heart is strong. It can love and let go at the same time. One can love a person but can also accept the fact that it was never meant to be, no matter how irrationally you want things to work out. It just means that our hearts are big enough to allocate a portion of it for different people ( but I also know that I'll be reserving the largest part for the one whom I'll ultimately give it to, whoever that person is.)

So there it is, my whole year in review. Probably not a complete list of the things done, seen, felt, heard, or tasted in 2009, but a comprehensive review at best. Here's to an adventure-filled new year. Cheers to 2010!

3 comments:

kat said...

love how you wrote this post, selle. and i really love your paintings. naa jud sya's personal artist style ba.. i envy that talent in you.

and your bora photo is great. ganahan ko selle! excited na ko mag beach ani.

memoirs on a post-it said...

Thanks for the comment kat! As in mingaw ko sa Bora, lami na jud pod ibeach. After the cold weather and the rain, murag its time for some sun napod no?hehe

kat said...

korek! i hope we have fun this tuesday puhon. basun pud intawun madayun. haha :)

 

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